Confidence Builder



According to most people who know me on a surface level, I am confident, if not conceited. My closest friend has said I'm a "selfless narcissist", but what can I say, I like being a paradox.

However, much like Rome, my pride wasn't built in a day, it was an uphill battle. So I'm here to share with you my confidence cheat-sheet for those days... well that you just feel like crap.

It may be borderline maladaptive behavior, but I find that the following steps are usually a good place to start, just as long as you don't stay there...

Step One:

Fake it til' you make it. Posture does wonders for body and mind, so this means shoulders back, head up, and walk with purpose. When inclined, you may even decide to smile. 

Moving on, it's no secret that our society values beauty, and while I do not care to conform to the ever-fleeting ideas of beauty I do believe that our outward appearance can affect our inward. This leads us to...

Step Two:

Flaunt it. Take the time to look put together so that when you look in the mirror you see your best self. Stop waiting for a special occasion to wear that favorite outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks, wear it... like now! This ties into the next step...

Step Three:

Make-up the difference. If you like to wear make-up on a special occasion, feel free to make the days you've only got four hours of sleep one as well. While you're at it, spritz that favorite perfume you just love! Do whatever it takes to give you that calm pride. Personally, I use this tactic for: sleep deprivation, boredom, and the days I not feelin' it and need that extra oomph. Every so often I also use it for when my vanity is showing and I want to be extra cute!

Step Four:

Catch yourself. This goes beyond the outward appearance like the times I catch myself sporting a particularly fierce  "Resting -Brat- Face" without even trying. Rather this goes beyond to also urge you to catch negative thoughts pouring in, telling you that you're not enough. Even in writing this post on confidence, I have had to acknowledge that it is still hard for me to accept a compliment. My defense mechanism is to put myself down ie: if I am told I have great hair or skin I immediately point out my frizz or a blemish. Still, it is important to remind ourselves daily that we are enough, when we are just being ourselves.

Step Five:

Pep Talk. It's not enough to just throw out negative thoughts, we must replace them with positive ones. Your worth does not lie in your completion, your hair length, your height, your weight, or even in your bank account. You are so much more! Tell yourself, you are smart, you are beautiful, you are worthy and you are loved.

Stand tall, stand proud, and exude confidence because it surely, is the key to true beauty!